#悲伤 的是，

[albeewill]

[fishbloc]

[fishyinbowlosoup]

2022

rough storyboard made base on this song -> 我的悲伤是水做的（作者版 (my sadness is liquid formed)

[sionyond]

我没有想到 ​所以开心！ ​没有料到！谢谢您！Albert! ​ ​有人离去，不免脑海思绪动荡 ​多东西想，所以没有什么话好讲这几天😞😞😞 ​ @say士林，节哀吧！ ​虽然少了一个人很大力给你做按摩的人 ​你如果怀念她，我可以模仿她 ​得空过去揍揍你的 ​冥冥中自有安排 ​由不得我们伤心！ ​ ​我老板讲 ​可能她去找迪伟了！ ​你放心啦！ ​我们迟早有一天的 ​但请务必做到自己离开不会有遗憾 ​请珍惜当下的每一秒，每一刻 ​我确定自己是快乐的 ​请你也为我、大家确定一下！ ​#生命中还有许许多多值得我们当下珍惜的人 ​#我不在你们离去时去悲伤你 ​#我在可以找你时找你可以见你时见你 ​#我时时刻刻都在想你好 #​想你快乐 ​#生命能快乐让自己快乐让喜欢的人快乐 ​#我想见你就见你 #我珍惜你 ​ ​#不在你没有时想你 ​#不会后悔要再珍惜你 ​#我没有后悔每一刻每一秒就是了 #别让自己这一生留下遗憾 (at Maypark) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmSvOgWqv_r/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[y-khuynh]

我们最后选择的是跟自己的悲伤和解，不是 忘却。因为那曾经使我 悲伤过的一切，也是我 最热爱的一切。

Điều cuối cùng mà chúng ta có thể lựa chọn là làm hòa với nỗi buồn thay vì cố quên đi. Bởi vì tất cả những gì đã từng làm ta tổn thương cũng chính là tất cả những gì mà ta yêu quý nhất.

Y Khuynh dịch.

[ruanbaijie]

悲伤不是三言两语就能感同身受 眼泪没有声音但我想抱紧你 你是重要的存在，是某人的星星 当你孤身独行，当你说被爱不过是侥幸 孩子请你别忘记曾有温柔的声音呼唤你的姓名 你问我路会通往哪里，路通往我等你 sadness can’t be empathised with just a few words tears are silent but I want to hug you tightly you are an important existence, you are someone’s star when you are alone, when you say being loved is merely good luck child, don’t you forget a gentle voice once called your name you asked me where the road will lead to, the road will lead to me waiting for you

海底（凤凰传奇）THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA (feng huang chuan qi) alternative song version & gifset: the despondent cry for help

[zhansww]

《晚安》 performed by Xiao Zhan

用一碗面 一碗汤 With a bowl of noodles and a bowl of soup 冲开一段暖心的悲伤 I dispel my sadness 又想起她或是他 Think of her or him again 就当做是饭后点心吧 Just treat it as a snack after dinner 别太悲观 总要试着习惯 Don’t be too pessimistic, try to get used to it 留下的人 不得不去承担 The people left behind have to endure it 一句留给自己过去的晚安 A good night for my past 有多少人 转多少弯 How many people turn countless corners 才找到彼此的伴 To finally find each other’s company 别退缩 看着你执着 Don’t back off, watching you persist 能够驱散 我的不安 Can dispel my anxiety 用一句话 用一碗饭 With a sentence, with a bowl of rice 吞下整夜的孤单 I swallow the loneliness of the whole night 别说了 天都快亮了 No need to say it, dawn is almost breaking 谢谢你 送我的温暖 Thank you for the warmth you gave me

用一碗面 一碗汤 With a bowl of noodles and a bowl of soup 冲开一段暖心的悲伤 I dispel my sadness 又想起她 或是他 Think of her or him again 就当做是饭后点心吧 Just treat it as a snack after dinner 别太悲观 总要试着习惯 Don’t be too pessimistic, try to get used to it 留下的人 不得不去承担 The people left behind have to endure it 一句留给自己过去的晚安 A good night for my past 有多少人 转多少弯 How many people turn countless corners 才找到彼此的伴 To finally find each other’s company 别退缩 看着你执着 Don’t back off, watching you persist 能够驱散 我的不安 Can dispel my anxiety 用一句话 用一碗饭 With a sentence, with a bowl of rice 吞下整夜的孤单 I swallow the loneliness of the whole night 别说了 天都快亮了 No need to say it, dawn is almost breaking 谢谢你 送我的晚安 Thank you for the good night you gave me

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien - First Snowfall Date - English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien’s 2024 CN Birthday Event (Golden Love Ratio)✧ Birthday Story | Birthday Prologue + Birthday Date (You’re here!) | ASMR

"Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple."

"Because that way, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments."

"And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about."

"That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time."

Translation under the cut!

I’m sorry for dropping this so late. As you might have seen from my tweet, my dad was hospitalized in ICU this month. I’m still struggling emotionally now as I wait for him to wake up. It’s been a difficult time, and the grief is still heavy on me as he hasn’t regained consciousness yet… 

Sharing this date translation is the least I can do to celebrate his birthday for now, even though I won’t be annoyingly scream about it like I usually would hhhh. I guess this date feels a bit like a small comfort—a reminder that even if your loved ones have passed away, it’s not all sadness. There’s still warmth in the memories they left behind :”””.

So, Xu Mo, happy birthday. I’m so happy to see you finally embracing your past with such warmth and nostalgia. Honestly, this year feels like it’s all about him finally gaining ‘blood and flesh,’ becoming more human and beautifully stained with the colors of the mortal world. His world is no longer monochrome, and now he’s moving toward the most vibrant and colorful spring. 

✂———————–

Before reading recommendations:

[2024 Birthday Birthday (a MUST read because this date is heavily reference this!) - My Translation]

[Winery date - Youtube (EN Loc)] 

—秋天是个本身就是带着悲伤和落寞的季节， 但是秋天也拥有盛放的花草， 拥有醇美的葡萄 酒， 还有不变的思念。(Autumn itself is a season inherently tinged with sadness and loneliness. Yet, autumn also boasts blooming flowers and thriving plants, rich and mellow wines, and unwavering longing.’) 

[Autumn Blaze Date - Youtube (EN Loc)]

No tear-floods, Nor sigh-tempests move. The fulfillment of a promise is...

“诺言的实现是别离的开始”。(“The fulfillment of a promise is the beginning of separation.")

[Tidying Up Date - My Translation - Youtube (EN Loc)]

—如果在那些被定格的风景里,你依然生动 鲜活,是否证明我还想念着你。(If in those frozen scenes, you still appear vivid and lively as before, does that mean I still miss you?)

那些被我判定为重要的事,即便现在已经 不再拥有同样的心情,那我是否还爱着你。(If what I previously judged to be important no longer reflects my feelings now, does that mean I still love you?)

✂———————–

[Birthday Prologue]

Sunlight shines on the sofa, and the cozy warmth makes me lift my head from my laptop, stretching with a big, lazy yawn.

MC: It always feels like something’s missing…

Lucien's birthday is coming soon, and to properly celebrate that day, he's been rushing his experiments progress lately, making him incredibly busy.

So, I want to give him a "soft and fluffy" birthday where he can lie down anytime and anywhere.

It's just that I've run into a little problem for the time being.

=Flashback Start=

MC: Lucien, what do you think of this town?

Lucien: It seems quite nice. It just so happens that the lab next door seems to be going here to do some research.

MC: What? No, no, if we're not careful, you'll be swept away by work!

I took out my Plan B and placed it in front of Lucien.

MC: How about this southern city then~ It should be very warm here.

Lucien: Hmm... If you don't want to be disturbed by outsiders, I'm afraid this place won't work either.

Lucien: I remember an academic summit is being held here soon. I just returned the call and declined the invitation to attend.

=Flashback End=

Therefore, after several plans were forced to be aborted one after another, my gaze inevitably shifted to the other side of the ocean.

Let's go somewhere farther away!

That way, Lucien can have a peaceful birthday without being disturbed by work or the outside world.

I immediately change my search keywords and start browsing travel guides for long-distance birthday trips.

Suddenly, a relevant news notification pops up on the webpage.

A castle museum owned by a renowned inventor from the last century will soon be open to the public.

In the photo, the historic castle is adorned with falling red leaves in the sunlight, resembling a piece of condensed amber.

I excitedly click on it and discover that, in addition to the open exhibition area, the castle is also available for rent by the square meter.

MC: ...Castle rental?

My eyes light up, and an idea forms in my mind.

✂———————–

When Lucien returns in the evening, I quietly close my laptop and walk to the door with a smile.

MC: Lucien—welcome home~ Ahem, I have a new idea about your birthday!

Lucien takes off his coat and gently embraces me, his eyes reflecting a soft, tranquil smile like the surface of a shallow water.

Lucien: What's the idea?

MC: Heehee, let me give you a hint~ How about we go somewhere far away for your birthday this time, a place with a vintage feel?

A gentle puff of air that seems like a suppressed chuckle reaches my ears, and a thoughtful expression appears on Lucien's face.

Lucien: Hmm... So, how vintage are we talking?

MC: Like, no elevator, and maybe no heating?

Lucien: Sounds like it could be a bit cold. It seems we'll need to pack some warm clothes.

I subconsciously nod, then immediately react.

MC: Wait, you've already agreed?

Lucien: Mm, after all, celebrating a birthday in a castle is a very appealing option.

MC: !!

MC: Hey! I clearly kept it under wraps, I haven’t even booked the tickets yet.... how did you figure it out so quickly?

Lucien's lips curve into a smile as he takes my hand, his index finger gently tapping on the back of my hand.

Lucien: It's probably because... your browsing history is synced to my computer.

✂———————–

[Date]

If you want to follow along with the voice- you can hear it here . The date starts at 14:10

=[Part 1]=

The late autumn sunshine is softened by the clouds, leaping through the glass window and casting a honey-like, mottled glow on the wooden floor.

MC: Mmh…

The cold air wakes me. As I'm about to stretch, my right hand accidentally brushes against something warm and soft.

Lucien lies peacefully beside me, breathing steadily. His brow, furrowed from days of relentless work, finally relaxes as he falls into a deep well of sleep.

We crossed the ocean and arrived at an ancient castle on the Atlantic coast last night.

It is said that this castle was personally designed and built by an inventor from the electrical era. He gifted it to his wife as a wedding present upon its completion.

They fell in love as they settled down at this very place, continuously building love founded on mutual companionship. Here they remained until they eventually passed away together and were laid to rest eternally within the castle grounds.

The profound emotions and story, coupled with the beautiful view of maple leaves and the ancient castle before my eyes, strengthen my resolve to rent this castle.

Amidst the intermingling of light and shadow this early morning, I quietly gaze at Lucien and a soft warmth wells up in my heart.

A hand with defined knuckles encloses my right hand, his palm pressed against the back of my hand, transmitting his body heat.

It's as if he's reluctant to grasp it tightly, yet unwilling to let go, so he just gently cups my hand.

I raise the hand that he isn’t holding, my fingertips hovering at the smallest distance as I trace the outline of his features.

Eyelashes, the bridge of his nose, his lips… until those closed eyelids suddenly quiver and blink lightly.

Lucien slowly opens his eyes, a hint of soft sleepiness lingering in them.

His hold on my hand tightens as he looks at me drowsily, revealing a gentle, soft smile under the sunlight.

I shift my body slightly, blocking the sunlight that's falling into his eyes, then lean down and gently press my cheek against his.

MC: Happy birthday, Professor Lucien~

Lucien: [his sleepy, soft voice is so cute-] Thank you, my little lady.

He tilts his face up, nuzzling affectionately against my cheek. The sunlight falls on his side profile, making him look fluffy.

The strands of his hair tangle with mine, stirring tender and lingering itches.

Lucien: Waking up in a castle and hearing MC's blessing, I must be the happiest person in the world right now.

Lucien: If I were to say there's still something missing, it would probably be...

Lucien: [chuckles] You're right. This castle is indeed quite cold.

His teasing tone makes me unable to resist lifting the corner of my lips. I snuggle closer, resting my cheek on his collarbone and nuzzling against it, warming the slightly cold patch of skin.

After warming up his skin that was exposed to the air, I tilt my face up to look at him.

MC: Being here with you under the covers like this makes it feel just a bit warmer.  

MC: However, getting up and moving around might help warm up our body too.

I wink at Lucien, speaking with a feigned seriousness that makes the matter seem like a big deal.

MC: I’ve decided to leave this difficult decision to the esteemed castle owner. May I ask, what would Your Highness like to do*?

My words are the picture of courtesy, yet I press myself against Lucien, my hand boldly and unreservedly traces his cheek.

His chest, pressed tightly against mine, trembles softly. Lucien takes my fingers, bringing them to his pale lips for a gentle kiss.

Lucien: Since I’m the owner of this castle... then, I want to stay in bed with my girlfriend for a bit longer right now.

He looks at me and blinks, his eyelashes casting a warm shadow on his cheek.

Lucien: [chuckles] Is that okay?

His voice holds a touch of playful mischievousness. I meet those eyes filled with smiles and feel a little dazed.

MC: Of course…

Before I can even finish speaking, I feel his hand tighten around my waist, and I yield as he wraps me back in the blanket again.

From just a breath away, I hear Lucien's long, contented exhale.

Lucien: [chuckles softly, then exhales comfortably] Then stay with me a little longer, let's indulge in bed a bit more.

✂———————–

*: MC playfully used 您 (nin) here, which is like the formal way to say ‘you’. I translate this to ���Your Highness’ as an attempt to capture this~

✂———————–

=[Part 2]=

We linger in bed until almost noon when Lucien finally 'digs' me out of the warm covers while I’m still drowsy from sleep.

After freshening up, we enjoy the sumptuous and exquisite brunch prepared by the butler.

Before the birthday dinner arrives, we still have a long stretch of leisurely time that we can freely arrange.

Considering this rare opportunity to vacation in the castle, we decide to spend half the day on the castle's lawn.

Late autumn is a season of vibrant colors, and the castle's designer clearly understood this well, planting a row of deciduous trees along the castle's edge.

[Trivia: Deciduous trees are trees that shed their leaves each year in the autumn!]

The lawn remains as green as an antique jade, but the leaves of the trees have already turned yellow, with a backdrop of maple forests ablaze in crimson.

The sunlight is warm, the fallen leaves crunch under my feet, and I can't help but take a deep breath.

MC: Mmm... It's the scent of autumn!

Lucien chuckles softly and, imitating me, takes a gentle breath of the autumn air.

Lucien: [chuckles] The air is so fresh. It must have rained last night; I can smell the petrichor.

MC: Hearing you say that, it feels like even the air today is a fresh gift for you~

I reach out and catch a falling leaf carried by the autumn breeze, gently placing it in Lucien's hand.

MC: Lucien, I want to give you a gift of autumn!

Lucien: A gift of autumn?

Lucien takes the leaf with a slightly puzzled look. I swing his hand gently and give him a wink.

MC: Consider this leaf a humble offering to spark something greater.

MC: I want to use these fallen leaves, flowers, and fruits to make an autumn basket, offering a small gift to today's birthday boy using nature's bounty.

Lucien gently nods in understanding, the curve of his lips remaining unchanged.

Lucien: Even though you're preparing a gift for me, the birthday boy himself is eager to join in too.

Lucien: Or is it that my little lady will only allow me to stand back and do nothing?

As he leans in slightly, his tone carries a hint of seriousness, and his fingertips lightly brush against my palm.

Sunlight sprinkles across his face, and his smiling eyes, framed by the interplay of light and shadow, appear even deeper, revealing a gentle slyness.

MC: Of course I need Professor Lucien's help, but when it comes to the final weaving stage, the birthday boy can't peek~

Lucien: No problem, I will be an honest collaborator.

The autumn wind lifts his hair, creating gentle curves as it sweeps through the strands. I gather his fingers in mine and we step onto the forest path by the castle.

MC: Let's go then, we still need a lot of materials~

In the maple forest during late autumn, fruit trees laden with fruit hide amongst the low bushes, while vibrant beeches with flourishing branches and leaves stand beside the tall oaks.

Purple crocuses peek their delicate buds from the grass, while after the rain, strange fungi unfurl their caps and release spores.

It's like stumbling into an autumn oil painting with bold colors and thick brushstrokes, every glance reveals a colorful and magnificent scenery.

When Lucien picks up a plump acorn, a red squirrel with a fluffy tail scurries out and squeaks at him.

MC: Wow, such a daring little squirrel!

Lucien and I are both taken aback for a moment; this little fellow seems completely unafraid of us.

MC: Is it greeting us, or is it trying to steal the fruit we've picked up?

Lucien seems to already have a way to handle this, a hint of cunningness flashing in his eyes.

He takes a pine cone in his hand and gently dangles it in front of the little squirrel's tail.

Lucien: [chuckles] Little guy, do you want this?

The greedy little squirrel's eyes instantly fixate on the new pine cone, completely captivated by his movement, and it scurries forward a few steps.

It stuffs the pine cone from Lucien's hand into its mouth in one gulp, then hops away with its cheeks puffed out.

Lucien: [chuckles] This maple forest is their world. That pine cone, well, let's just consider it an ‘entry fee'.

Lucien raises his hand again, and when he opens his palm before me, there they are—several even plumper and cuter acorns.

MC: Hold on, turns out you've been secretly keeping all these 'hidden treasures' to yourself!

Lucien: [in an ‘innocent’ tone] After all, my little lady needs these acorns, so I had to find a way to evade those sharp-eared and keen-eyed little fellows.

Though he says this, Lucien shows a relaxed expression, looking like a little fox pretending to be innocent.

The thought of the Great Professor Lucien actually ‘tricking’ a squirrel makes me burst out laughing. I grab his hand and pull him along as I run in the other direction.

MC: Hahaha, Professor Lucien, quick, run with me! Be careful, the little squirrel might go find the squirrel police and report us!

I hold hands with Lucien as we walk through the woods. The surrounding scenery is vibrant with colors, creating the impression of a flowing oil painting.

The air around the sweet osmanthus trees is filled with a sweet fragrance like cotton candy, while black walnuts and red oak acorns roll on the ground.

My pockets are loaded with autumn's ‘spoils’ which keep spilling out as I run, as if they are merging with the forest's hidden mysteries.

Despite these minor incidents, we still manage to gather a basketful of autumn's gifts.

✂———————–

Back indoors, I carry my blessings for Lucien and patiently weave them together.

Leaves and fruits gradually take shape in my hands, carrying small heartfelt wishes, preserving the warmth and liveliness of autumn.

And then, I find Lucien by the window.

He seems to have just come inside, a hint of coldness still clinging to him, but when he turns and looks back at me, a gentle smile quickly spreads across his face.

I smile and lift the basket of fruits and flowers with both hands as if I'm holding all the beauty of autumn.

MC: This castle’s most beautiful autumn is all right here! Here, it's all yours—

MC: I hope every day of your future can be as complete, fulfilling, and beautiful as this~

Lucien's eyes curve into a smile as he takes the basket.  Suddenly, I feel a touch of moist coolness against my ear.

Through the glass window, I see him quietly tuck a vibrant Cleome flower into my hair.

Lucien: Thank you, I really like these autumn gifts.

Lucien: But for me, the most beautiful part of autumn is right here before my eyes.

Lucien: She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me utterly captivated*.

✂———————–

[T/N]

I think the Cleome Spinosa flower, also known as 醉蝶花 ("intoxicated butterfly") carries symbolic meaning. When Lucien gives her this particular flower, it reflects his emotions about her. The final line (她年复一年地盛开,陪在我的身边,令我沉醉其中 — literally translated as "She blooms year after year, staying by my side, and leaving me intoxicated") directly connects to the "intoxicating" (醉) in the flower's name with the word 沉醉 (immersed in a state of intoxication) in the last line, which combines 沉 (to sink or immerse) and 醉 (to be drunk or intoxicated).

沉醉 conveys the emotional nuances of being utterly captivated, deeply enchanted, and overwhelmed in a consuming, blissful way. This imagery mirrors the 'intoxicated butterfly' of the flower, as if he's the 'intoxicated butterfly', utterly captivated and completely consumed by her existence.

✂———————–

=[Part 3]=

It's past dusk, and the sunlight is as golden and radiant as freshly harvested honey. Outside the window, a vast expanse of red maple trees sways in harmony with the evening breeze, whispering a soft melody. Leaves flutter and dance their way into the room every now and then.

I rub my arms, for even this gentle and beautiful scenery can’t stop the temperature from dropping as night falls.

MC: Uh... It feels even colder than it did this morning.

Just then, the sound of rolling wheels comes from behind me. Lucien approaches, pushing a small wooden cart, a plush shawl in his hand.

Lucien: I found a pretty good way to warm up, want to give it a try?

He gently wraps a shawl around me, and I comfortably nuzzle against his warm and cozy neck.

MC: I'm all ears to hear the esteemed opinions of the castle's owner!

Lucien smiles mysteriously, holds my hand, and pushes the cart as we walk together to a door leading underground.

MC: This is... a wine cellar?

Lucien: I think it would be more ceremonial if we chose the wine list ourselves tonight.

He lights the two oil lamps that were prepared in advance. Each of us carries one, and we slowly move forward through the rich aroma of oak barrels.

According to the butler, the wine cellar was recently ventilated.  

Yet, perhaps the overwhelming aroma of wine saturates the air, walking inside makes me feel a bit stifled. I even feel slightly intoxicated just from the scent, before even having a sip.

Besides me, only Lucien still carries the fresh and crisp scent of grass and trees from when we were gathering fruits and fallen leaves.

It feels like he is the only antidote in this dim room filled with the floating aroma of wine.

Red maple leaves, the wine cellar, the wine itself… memories from the past seem to overlap at this moment.

Suddenly, I recall the winery we visited long ago.

The memory of the autumn stained red by the maple leaves has brought with it the restlessness and infatuation of the past, spilling out from the bottom of my heart without any reason...

It's as if my lips still retain the feeling of his touch when he wiped away the wine stain for me, making my heartbeat inexplicably quicken. Just then, I catch sight of Lucien gently placing a bottle of wine into the cart.

MC: Professor Lucien, what kind of wine did you choose?

Lucien: Riesling white wine.

Lucien turns the bottle around to show me.

Lucien: When I got the cart, the butler knew I was going to the wine cellar and recommended this castle's specialty to me.

Lucien: And you?

I suppress the excitement in my heart and wink at him mysteriously.

MC: Hmph, you'll find out soon enough.

The light and soft aroma of white wine fills the air, and even the candles on the wall seem intoxicated by the wine's fragrance, their flames gently flickering.  

Under the twilight dome of the sky, the shadows of the wine rack and stone walls sway gracefully in the flickering firelight.  

Lucien and I sit at a small table nearby, two crystal-clear glasses already filled with wine, exuding a faintly tipsy aura.  

After two glasses of Riesling, I feel warmth spreading through my body and let out a satisfied sigh.

MC: Ahh, so comfortable... I don't feel cold at all anymore~ As expected of the wine Professor Lucien chose.

Lucien: [chuckles] Would you like some more?

I smile and shake my head, winking at him mysteriously.

MC: First, let's try the wine I picked~

I open the bottle of wine I selected and pour a glass for Lucien, sneaking a glance at his face from the corner of my eye.  

The candlelight cast a soft filter over him, concealing his keen and contemplative eyes, which revealed a soft glow under the haze of the wine.

He parts his pale lips, gently swallows the wine, and seems to be momentarily dazed.

MC: How is it?

I can barely contain my anticipation as I watch his brow smooth slightly, relaxing further after taking in the wine.

Confusion and surprise flit through his gentle eyes, before swiftly transforming into a clear understanding.

Lucien:�� ...This flavor is very unique, and yet also very familiar.

Lucien: It's sweet and tender, yet with a touch of bitterness and complexity*.

[Notes from Lux: He copied her remark from back then, word by word :”””. 纠结 is a tricky word to translate because it literally means “intertwined”/”tangled”. But figuratively, it implies a kind of intertwined, tangled feeling, commonly describing a state of emotional or mental conflict, where someone feels torn between different choices or is experiencing confusion and hesitation (a.k.a the state of the earlier stage of their relationship-). I went with ‘complexity’ to capture some nuances, but it might not capture this ‘entangling’ feeling.]

The complex yet familiar remark sends a rush of emotions through me. Just as I’m thinking about what to say, Lucien smiles.

Lucien: But when I savor it again, I feel a warmth, like that of sunshine and rain—a delicate, pleasant warmth.

The familiar words stir a trace of emotion in my heart, and in a daze, it feels as if the autumn equinox of that year has arrived at this very moment.

He still remembers—this is the same bottle of wine I tasted back when we were just getting to know each other, during our visit to Eileen's winery for an interview.

My fingertips unconsciously rub against the bottle, and my thoughts follow my gaze to the red maple trees bathed in the evening glow.

Back then, it was also the season when the maples were crimson and the flowers were in full bloom...

A maple leaf, as if on cue, is swayed by the evening breeze and drifts toward me. I instinctively reach out, and the leaf gently lands in my palm.

It feels as though the early days of tentative exploration and the subtle sweetness of that time have traveled with the falling leaf, arriving here in this foreign land at this moment.

Lucien: I remember, on the way to the winery, I mentioned Maple Road. We ended up going there together.

Lucien: On Maple Road, we read a poetry collection together and visited a maple sugar shack.

Lucien: Later, I drew a picture of you collecting maple leaves. That drawing even ended up in an exhibition...

The rippling light of the wine in the crystal glass reflects on him, even his gaze holds tender memories.

Lucien speaks calmly, his memories unfolding like a heavy book, slowly opening before me with the sound of his voice.

The bond beneath the red maple tree and the feelings growing in the vineyard, word by word, moment by moment, intertwine and become etched into our story-

Only those who created it together can turn its pages and retrieve each other's anchors from the endless flow of time.

My heart is stirred, subtly and uncontrollably. I can't help but rush into Lucien's arms, hugging him tightly.

MC: I remember too.

MC: Not just these things you've mentioned... everything about you, I remember it all.

MC: So after today, Professor Lucien should also update this birthday into all our autumn memories.

His chest pressed close to me, trembles slightly. A warm, gentle kiss falls on my forehead, soft and cherishing.

Lucien: Such beautiful memories, I don't seem to have any reason to let them fade away.

I lift my face joyfully and gently kiss his chin.  

We have already experienced countless stories through many autumns and celebrated each of his birthdays.

And I also want to write down promises with him for each and every autumn in the future, continuing on for a very, very long time.

MC: Then it's a promise!

Lucien smiles faintly and lifts me up with one hand, his gentle gaze meeting mine at eye level.

Lucien: [chuckles] However, if I want to make the anchor of this ‘memory’ even more profound, I still need to gather a bit of inspiration…

The remaining of his words are lost into our mingling breaths, replaced by a crisp kiss tinged with the scent of wine.

This kiss is gentle and intoxicating, leaving me somewhat tipsy, though not from the effects of alcohol.

Perhaps it's because the youthful and inexperienced flavor of that past has long since mixed with the passionate love that has matured over time…

Blending and growing, pulling me deeply into it.

✂———————–

=[Part 4]=

The twilight gradually fades into the night, and the bright moon quietly hangs in the autumn night, illuminating the still dazzling and fiery red maple leaves.

Lucien and I are still sitting at the table, enjoying the tranquility, when a sudden coldness brushes against my cheek.

I raise my head and realize, without noticing it, that snowflakes have already begun drifting down from the sky. Just then, I hear Lucien's smiling voice beside me.

Lucien: It seems that today's ‘gifts’ are not over yet.

MC: After all, today is your birthday—the whole world will be sending you blessings~

Our gazes meet, and with a tacit understanding, we both set down our glasses and take each other's hands.

Lucien: Then, can I invite my ‘world’ to go out with me and experience this beauty together?

In the courtyard, rustling red maples intertwine with falling snowflakes, as if autumn and winter themselves are completing their handover at this very moment.

We get an umbrella from the butler and hold hands as we follow the stone path down the hill from the old castle.

The moonlight on a snowy night grows brighter as we walk side by side to the small town at the foot of the hill, where the houses and streetlights are all covered in a delicate layer of snowflakes.

On the streets of the small town, many people, like Lucien and I, stroll under the moonlight, accompanied by the backdrop of the first snowfall, tacitly enjoying this tranquil night.

I turn my head to look at Lucien and find him reaching out his hand, gently catching a falling snowflake.

His eyes curve faintly, as if harboring some kind of quiet longing, even carrying a touch of rare childlike innocence.

MC: [smiles softly] Why does it feel like Professor Lucien has a special fondness for this snow?

My tone holds a hint of curiosity, wanting to capture this rare glimpse of his innocence. Lucien smiles and begins to speak softly.

Lucien: [softly, like recalling a cherished memory] Just remembered a movie I watched when I was little. I remember... it was about an inventor who lived in a castle.

Lucien: After watching it as a child, there was a time when I also wanted to be an inventor with a castle.

My eyes widen in a bit of surprise.

MC: [pouts] I can understand wanting to be an inventor, but why did it have to be one who lives in a castle…

MC: Professor Lucien, could it be that you're teasing me on purpose just because we came to a castle this year?

Lucien: [chuckles] Of course not. But if this story will make this little lady happy, I’d be more than willing to tell it to you.

MC: I want to hear it, I want to hear it!

I enthusiastically put on an attentive look, Lucien smiles as he begins to speak.

Lucien: Actually, the reason for wanting to own a castle is quite simple.

Lucien: Because that way, just like the main character in the movie, I could have a space of my own to carry out those daring and even dangerous experiments.

Lucien: And my parents could also accompany me in the castle, pursuing the research they are deeply passionate about.

Lucien: That way, they wouldn’t have to be 'trapped' in the lab all the time.

Lucien speaks naturally, his voice imbued with a soft smile, yet it's as if a tiny window is being opened.

Through that window, I seem to see a little Lucien, his eyes sparkling with fascination as he watches the movie, his heart filled with simple and pure longing.

My heart suddenly softens, and I can’t help but smile tenderly as I start to speak.

MC: The dream of becoming an inventor could now be considered halfway realized~

MC: After all, Professor Lucien is a great scientist walking at the forefront of humanity—it’s perhaps even more remarkable than that!

MC: As for the castle... you've been the ‘owner of the castle’ for a day today, does that count?

Lucien: [chuckles] Of course it counts. And now, there’s even the first snowfall.

He takes my slightly cold hand and slips it in his pocket, softly rubbing it.

Lucien: I can no longer recall the plot of that movie very well. But I do remember that on the day we watched it, it also snowed in Loveland City.

Lucien: That day, they finished work early and brought home the videotape of that movie.

Lucien: The movie ended with the town welcoming its first snowfall, and we also stepped outside together to enjoy the snowy world.

He speaks vaguely, but I understand everything.

His low voice feels especially serene on this snowy night, yet as he speaks, another scene unfolds before my eyes.

When his room flooded before, he tidied up those old videotapes and set them aside, placing them carefully in a separate spot.

Is this old movie among those tapes?

As he put away the videotapes, did he recall that ancient castle and that warm snowfall?

I don’t know the answer, but I can feel that those fleeting, rarely mentioned fragments of his past were once so distant and cold.

But now, those precious fragments have thawed like melting ice and snow, filled with nostalgia and warmth as they slowly flow.

I instinctively tighten my hold on his hand.

The first snowfall is falling thicker and thicker, yet it isn't biting cold. Snowflakes gently drift past the edge of the umbrella, landing on the tips of my hair and forehead, as well as Lucien's.

It's as if this world is bestowing its blessings on Lucien in the most gentle way.

MC: Even though it's many years late, it seems that we've now made little Lucien's childhood dream come true.

With a chuckle, Lucien's low voice reaches me through the wind and snow.

Lucien: [chuckles] Indeed, so I was quite surprised, but also delightfully so.

Lucien: However, if it weren’t for this twist of fate, perhaps I wouldn’t have thought of this idea again for a very, very long time.

Lucien: [softly] Because I've long had something far more important.

Lucien: To me, those forgotten thoughts are more like a bottle of wine hidden in a cellar.

MC: Wine?

Lucien: Mm, just like the wine we’re drinking today.

Lucien: Grapes can never return to their original form, but time makes them richer and more mellow, and they will always meet someone who knows how to cherish them.

Lucien: She will give me a castle, stay in bed with me, treasure an entire autumn with me... and walk with me through quiet streets on snowy nights.

A snowflake quietly lands on his eyelashes and melts a moment later. It’s as if the melted droplets seep into my heart, creating ripples of sweet warmth.

I can't help but speak softly, offering all my blessings to my beloved standing before me under the moonlight of this snowy night.

MC: Happy birthday, Lucien.

May each and every year of your future be surrounded with love as you move forward.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*FIN*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[Bonus Phone call]

Lucien: I received the email you sent. Looks like it has some intel about a birthday.

MC: Yes! It's a text-based open-source game I found online. I modified it a bit~

MC: You can start from age 0 and randomly generate the 'life' of a little Lucien!

Lucien: Mm, just now, I've already completed two endings.

Lucien: The first time, little Lucien was accidentally captured by an alien spacecraft at the age of three and left Earth forever.

Lucien: The second time, little Lucien received a mysterious admission letter at the age of sixteen. No one knows where he went.

[Aren't these just a reflection of his past??? from being kidnapped by BS to mysteriously disappearing hhhhh]

MC: Haha, is the game’s random value design too harsh? Maybe I should tweak it a bit...

Lucien: No need, I really like this level of difficulty. It’s precisely this randomness that makes it so interesting to me.

Lucien: I’ve just started my third playthrough. This time, I’ve decided to reallocate some of the 15 points I gave to intelligence and assign some to luck.

[Not this basically saying that his genius may be the reason for his unluckiness in life :""". His 'luck' in life is that he's able to met her]

MC: So Professor Lucien had been putting all the points into one stat before! No wonder you kept having such over-the-top mysterious experiences...

Lucien: I just subconsciously wanted to test the limits of this little game, and unexpectedly made real discoveries.

Lucien: Although these endings greatly increased the game's replayability, this time, I want to make the game last a bit longer.

Lucien: That way, perhaps I can meet you in the game as well.

MC: Hehe, you can look forward to it!

MC: So, how's it going? What age did you reach in your third playthrough?

Lucien: …Hmm, I've already invented the elixir of immortality and reached the age of two hundred, but I still haven't encountered you.

Lucien: Am I on the right track?

MC: Pfft! I did set up an encounter, but I didn't set an age limit, thinking it would slightly increase replayability...

MC: I feel like I might have overdone it...

Lucien: It’s okay. In the game, little Lucien has already met you—at the age of five hundred.

Lucien: Then, on his birthday, we confessed to each other at the same time and spent a happy life together.

[Man so love-brained that he creates an immortality elixir and stubbornly waits a long time to finally meet her LOL. In this way, it can be said that his current life might be the 'luckiest' possibility because it allows him to meet her so soon]

MC: Hahaha, that's good, that's good... So, do you like this "life path" of becoming an inventor?

Lucien: I like it. I like everything and my destined encounter with you.

Lucien: I’ll be home soon, and when I get there, I’d like to invite you to explore all the other possibilities for little Lucien together—

Lucien: And explore every moment I spent with you on this birthday.

[itougcx]

尽管在玩完海滩篇之后伤感了几天，但是这种悲伤竟该死的上头！尤其每当我半夜闭上眼睛，很多前几部的伏笔都会浮现在脑海之中…很喜欢这系列的衔接感，在反复复盘之中不停带给我惊喜，于是最近产生了这样的脑洞：如果宇宙的可能性不止于此，那么苹果可以有几个面？ ​​​

中文版的可以在我的微博和lofter上看，自己翻译了简陋的英文版发在这边😇

[terryvaran]

他的迪斯马四肢齐全五体健全、好好的；悲伤是因为迪斯马不让他把另外两个头带回宿舍

[baosam1399]

〔Bài dịch số 1106〕 ngày 28.11.2023 :

年轻的我们心脏都是比较小的，一点苦难放进去 都显得大。长大了的人，心脏就变大了 即使更大的悲伤装进去，也照样可以冷静的离开，平静的遗忘。所以忍耐吧，有天我们的心脏会长的比悲伤大

Những người trẻ tuổi như chúng ta nội tâm đều khá bé nhỏ, một chút "khổ" bị nhét vào đó cũng khiến chúng ta cảm thấy nó thật quá sức chịu đựng. Nhưng khi ta lớn hơn, nội tâm cũng theo đó lớn hơn, dẫu cho nỗi khổ có bị phóng đại như thế nào, ta cũng vẫn có thể bình tĩnh mà rời đi, bình thản mà quên lãng. Cho nên hãy cứ nhẫn nại, sẽ có một ngày trái tim ta sẽ lớn hơn nhiều những tổn thương ta đã phải chịu.

- (Hoài Vũ Vũ/baosam1399 dịch)

[peach-blossoms]

虚构 (The Mask) – Zhou Shen

Listen on Spotify

Album: 《反深代词》 - Track 13 Lyricist: Tang Tian Composer: Zhou Shen Arrangement/Producer: Qian Lei [T/N: literal translation of title is “fabrication / fiction” all artistic liberties in translation are mine, and paragraph breaks were added for ease of reading]

LYRICS TRANSLATION

选择瞳孔的颜色 Pick the colour of the pupils 剔除多余的骨骼 Remove the extra bones 一键抹平了皱褶 Smooth out the wrinkles with one click 你是爱我的 You love me

缝合翅膀多完美 The wings were sewn so perfectly 提亮眼神不伤悲 No sorrow speckles the eyes 清空阴暗面颓废 Weary, despondent expressions are cleared out 我们相爱了 We love each other

如果我是我虚构的一场秀 If I am a show that I fabricated 如果我变回怪兽谢幕之后 If I turn back into a monster after the curtain call 如果滤镜后 If behind the camera filter 我满身污垢 I am all covered in filth 关节会生锈 Joints about to rust 笑容会变丑 Smiles becoming ugly

我没能给你分开的理由 I cannot give you a reason to part 我在你逃走之前先逃走 I would flee before you can flee 如果没有这些如果 If there are none of these ifs 你才会爱我 Then you would love me

多么完美的镜头 The more perfect a camera shot is 多么恐惧被剧透 The more fear there is of an exposé 一个我淡定自若 A me who is calm and composed 一个尖叫着求救 A me who is wailing for help

你爱我是真的 You love me is true 可你从来没看见过我 But you have never seen through me 天哪多荒谬 God, how absurd it is 爱是编辑的人格 To love an edited personality

如果我是我虚构的一场秀 If I am a show that I fabricated 如果我变回怪兽谢幕之后 If I turn back into a monster after the curtain call 如果滤镜后 If behind the camera filter 我满身污垢 I am all covered in filth 关节会生锈 Joints about to rust 笑容会变丑 Smiles becoming ugly

我没能给你分开的理由 I cannot give you a reason to part 我在你逃走之前先逃走 I would flee before you can flee 如果没有这些如果 If there are none of these ifs 你是否爱我 Would you love me?

多渴望被爱着 To thirst for love so much 却因此感到绝望为何 Yet to also feel despair because of it 在幸运的时候 During moments of feeling lucky 怀疑自己不值得 Doubting that you deserve them

Oh也许你能够 Oh may be you can 帮我拉开遮住脸的双手 Help me pull apart the hands covering my face 颤抖却温柔 Trembling yet pliant 说你依然爱着我 （说你依然爱着我） Saying you still love me (Saying you still love me)

也许我是我虚构 的一场秀 Maybe I am a show that I fabricated 也许我变回怪兽 谢幕之后 Maybe I will turn back into a monster after the curtain call 也许滤镜后 我满身污垢 Maybe behind the camera filter, I am all covered in filth 关节会生锈 笑容会变丑 （会变丑） Joints about to rust, smiles becoming ugly (becoming ugly)

也许可以 就这样破烂依旧 Maybe it would still be tattered like this 也许可以 就这样奇怪依旧 Maybe it would still be bizarre like this 也许还有 那么一点期待 Maybe there is still a little expectation 也许没人逃走 Maybe no one fled 我无法给你留下的理由 I cannot give you a reason to stay 可不可以不需要理由 Can you not need a reason?

[intotheswollenriver]

忽然悟了一点，天狼星对于又被关在家里不让他出去这种命令，除了对童年时期的应激创伤之外，应该还有一种可能性是：比起担忧自己应付外部环境的能力，他更恐惧和焦虑的是需要应付内心世界，比如悲伤和焦虑感，因为他的舒适区是朝向外部环境并且与之互动，因此来规避内心的情感痛苦。

所以他被关在一个封闭的环境下简直就是在强行让他直面自己12年来被关在一个满是摄魂怪的悲惨经历所带来的痛苦回忆。因为环境的限制，这种童年大房子并没有能让他引起兴奋和新的正面经验的活动，所以他不得不直面自己一直以来都在逃避的情感，不得不胡思乱想，没有任何外界活动能让他避免这一点，就更加无法忍受呆在这种地方，讲通俗一点就是：他需要让自己行动起来以此来规避自己所要面临的情感风暴，这种不健康心态的情况下，就算他想逃向外界也会越来越焦虑，反而更加做不好事情，是个恶性循环。

但幸好ad没有让他这么干，ad做的事情是对他最好，也是最正确的事情，不幸的是他最终没有呆在原地，他想跑在内心的恐惧和伤痛前面，但是他逃得越急，恐惧和伤痛就追得越紧，最终把他吞噬。

[gilding-the-time]

（切换至原作者发帖）某些人请不要再偷我的图假装是你们自己画的了！看在我现实中狗屎一样的生活就饶了我吧！！！！明明是我自己画的画，结果仔细一看上面的一连串水印没一个是我的！我都精神有问题了！你们还要我怎样？！！！！！！我已经放弃了！我已经投降了！为何不放过我？！为何不放过我？！！！！！！是不是作为人类的我只有死去才会消减痛苦！

I give you permission to repost my images or use them as your avatar wallpaper. But who asked you to impersonate the original author? How dare you announce to the public that my paintings are done by your own hands? (These words are directed only at the thieves)

我无法忍受！我无法忍受！我想要做的前人们都做过了！！！！！我想要！的公平都是不公的虚构的！！！！！！！睁——开——双——眼——看不见眼前————你丢失了一切——清澈的海面——模糊了视线——趁着夕阳还没消失前————再看天空一遍——————————非酋排洪渠汽配会佛i会否我去发你放弃哦吼if前后qfejioqfiqf曲阜哦发货脾气哦防护服武器悲哀藏在现实中 不敢去想 一些想象中的悲伤——————————不断——摧毁——梦——中——的——世界————掏空了——流——浪——的光————我站在城市的街角————只买了敷衍——的——希——望——————————啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊——————huqhhfqhhfhqhfhf东钱湖回去hi哦防火墙前后佛佛号锟斤拷困困困不断摧毁！的！世界！！！掏空了！流浪的光！！！！！我站在城市！的街角！！！！却买了敷衍！的希望！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！我要你看穿我！不是杀了我！你说你爱我！却这样对我！不断摧毁梦中的世界！！！！掏空了流浪的光！！！！！！！！！！！！我站在城市的街角！！！！！！却买了敷衍和希望！！！！！！！！海浪尽头的你啊！！！！！！到底何时归来——————————不再说！不再说哦↓↑却说那有始有终——————————他明白！他明白！我给不起！！！！于是转身向大海走去！！！！！

[aworldforastage]

A Totally Subjective List of Favorite Danmei Novels I Read in 2023

Joyful Reunion :: 相见欢 by 非天夜翔

Governor's Illness :: 督主有病 by 杨溯

The Return of Cambrian Period :: 寒武再临

The Plays of Lips and Teeth :: 唇齿之戏 by 张佩奇

Blazing Armor :: 火焰戎装 by 水千丞

After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine :: 残疾战神嫁我为妾后 by 刘狗花

Wilderness Vegetation :: 荒野植被 by 麦香鸡呢

In Name Only :: 有名 by 木更木更

Placid Chang’an :: 太平长安 by 盐盐 Yany

Eternities Still Unsaid Till You Love Me :: 欲言难止 by 麦香鸡呢

Joyful Reunion :: 相见欢 by 非天夜翔

“相见欢，原本是我们的曲子。” "'Joyful Reunion' originally belonged to my people."

[action, political intrigue, coming of age] -- At its heart, Joyful Reunion is a young man's coming-of-age, as he grows up in a war-torn world and decides on the type of man and leader he wants to become. This novel isn't easy to read with it pacing and length, but its reputation as an iconic historical political danmei is well-deserved. There are no "good people" and "bad people", just humans trying to survive in a harsh world and live their own truths. The main romantic arc is fairly light, while the most controversial (i.e. beloved) "second male lead" in all of danmei is lurking in the background. But I love that Duan Ling finds someone who supports him through his worst days, and they give each other strength and hope to stay true to their best selves.

Governor's Illness :: 督主有病 by 杨溯

“去吧，”沈玦道，“你生，我去找你。你死，我去陪你。” “Go,” Shen Jue says, “If you live, I’ll come find you. If you die, I’ll go with you.”

[wuxia, secrets and conspiracies, revenge plot] -- The powerful Governor of the Eastern Depot has a massive bounty on the head of an infamous assassin. Who knew it's because they are childhood friends who want to find each other? Despite a tiny bit of palace intrigue, this is mostly a wuxia story, focusing on the complicated bonds between masters and disciples, and far too many blood debts and sect secrets. The first part of the novel is brutal. I love plot-heavy stories but I intentionally ignore parts of this one during re-reads because it is just so heartbreaking (unrelated to the romance arc). But Xiahou Lian never stops seeing the best in Shen Jue and Shen Jue never stops wanting the best for Xiahou Lian. And that strong bond gives them -- and readers like me -- some hope and comfort as secrets and enemies from the ghosts of Xiahou Lian's past continue to launch them into one action-packed challenge after another. (My review here)

The Return of Cambrian Period :: 寒武再临 by 水千丞

这就是末世，个人的悲伤在全世界的悲伤面前，渺小无比。 This is the apocalypse, and the grief of an individual is utterly insignificant compared to all the grief in the world right now.

[apocalypse, action/adventure, superpowers/mutations] -- I don't know how to summarize 1.7 million words briefly so here's a much lengthier review. It's an action-adventure with super-powered humans and mutant "monsters of the week". It's a mystery and heroic epic trying to solve and conquer the cause of the apocalypse. It's a social commentary sketching out what humanity keeps and saves and becomes when modern society crumbles. It's a love story -- many love stories, romantic and familial and platonic and more-- that reminds you what gives humans the courage, purpose, and determination to stand up in face of overwhelming adversity is love for and from the people we keep in our hearts.

The Plays of Lips and Teeth :: 唇齿之戏 by 张佩奇

周辰瑜回到舞台中央，说：“这出《乌龙院》，我和贺辰烽常说，不过这还是我头一回演阎惜娇。” 说着，他转过身，对身旁的晏朝说：“人家第一次都给你了，你要对我负责。” 晏朝：“……” Zhou Chenyu returns to the center stage, and says, "I have performed 'Wu Long Yuan' many times with He Chenfeng, but this is my first time playing Yan Xijiao." He turns to Yan Zhao, who is standing beside him, "I'm giving you my first time, you need to take responsibility." Yan Zhao: "..."

[ celebrities, comedy, traditional arts] -- This is a novel for when you want stories about celebrities, with all the fun of "CP fans" and Weibo drama, but also a break from actors and idols. A TV host and a Xiangsheng actor meet in a reality show that teaches them about each other's careers. While they are expected to provide some fan service to boost ratings, they also develop genuine respect and fondness for each other. With a comedian as a main character, this novel kept me laughing with xiangsheng performances and the main couple's funny antics. There is a bit of angst when the main characters struggle with their careers and their relationships with their respective families, but luckily, they find each other and a path forward together.

Blazing Armor :: 火焰戎装 by 水千丞

可那个"孩子"，他又天真又残忍。 But that "child", he is so innocent and cruel.

[mystery/procedural, romance, firefighters] -- A departure from the norm in the 188 Boys Club, this novel is a plot-heavy slow-burn romance, following the work of fire captain Ren Yi and police officer Gong Yingxian. I got really drawn into the "cases" (fires) that Ren Yi deals with, and learned so much about fire trucks, rescue protocols, and fire risks of various materials. Gong Yingxian is a traumatized genius orphan with a large inheritance, weird hobbies, and no social skills. He repeatedly hurts Ren Yi's feelings and betrays his trust, for reasons ranging from uninformed callousness to intentional manipulation, but technically none of that is about their romantic relationship. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of his actions, but there is something precious about the guy who confesses his feelings with the bones of his dead pet lizard, and gets frustrated because Ren Yi can't decipher the romantic symbolism of the lizard's heart-shaped tail bone.

After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine :: 残疾战神嫁我为妾后 by 刘狗花

“瞧好了，他，靖王，我是他的妾，他是我夫君。” "Look carefully! Him, the Prince Jin, I am his secondary concubine, he is my lord husband."

[transmigration, romance, political intrigue] -- History professor Jiang Suizhou fails a student paper for using unofficial records, and ends up transmigrating into the wild events chronicled in the paper. Like any decent protagonist of a transmigration novel, Suizhou saves himself from a gruesome fate, falls in love with the coolest person in their universe, and change the world for the better. Despite the setting, the political plot is kept light and simple. A great treat for when you want sugar-pie feel-good comfort read with a tiny bit of plot.

Wilderness Vegetation :: 荒野植被 by 麦香鸡呢

如果可以，谁不想体体面面的，体面地爱人，体面地被爱。 If given the option, who wouldn't want dignity? To love with dignity, and be loved with dignity.

[scum gong crematorium, reconciliation, mental illness] -- My favorite HE crematorium novel! Xu Yan dumps emotionally abusive boyfriend Shen Zhi whom he has loved and tolerated for years, and starts a new life and career with supportive friends and family. This is finally a sane universe where no one retcons or minimizes or excuses Shen Zhi's actions, even if there were genuine misunderstandings and he genuinely loved Xu Yan. During the crematorium phase, Shen Zhi respects Xu Yan's boundaries and refusals (though he does repeatedly return to ask again). It takes time, but he works hard to grow as a person, to think and behave differently, and eventually lets Xu Yan go out of love and respect. When Xu Yan initiates the reconciliation, it feels like they have a chance this time because they have both changed and grown in meaningful ways.

In Name Only :: 有名 by 木更木更

“当他落在了我这儿，我这儿就是春天。” "When he lands where I am, where I am becomes spring time. "

[actors/celebrities, fake relationship, mature characters] -- Two award-winning actors fake a relationship to quash a scandalous rumor. They gradually get to know the real person behind the other's accomplished career and polished public persona, and fall in love. The tone of the story veers is mostly sweet and funny, with a splash of angst that they conquer with their own strength and each other's support. It's so comforting and relaxing to read about the love story of "mature men" in their early 30s who know how to communicate productively, take care of the people they like, and really accept and empathize with each other's imperfections. (I wrote about the novel here.)

Placid Chang’an :: 太平长安 by 盐盐 Yany

“你既然选择了大理寺，查找真相、还原真相就是你的事，而我身为摄政亲王，稳定朝局，制衡天下是我的事。你做你该做的，剩下的我来处理。” “Since you have chosen to join the Court of Judicial Review, investigating and uncovering the truth is now your duty; I am the Prince Regent, so stabilizing the court and governing the nation is my duty. Do your duty, and I will handle the rest.”

[mystery/procedural, court politics] -- The newest Zhuangyuan Su Cen has a sharp mind and keen eye for solving mysterious. As a high-profile rookie official, he is soon swept into the factional rivalries at court -- and the Prince Regent's bed at night. The plot is mainly driven by a series of cases Su Cen investigates for his work and at the behest of people around him, and many mysteries point back to a few old cold cases and a secret organization. The grand finale feels a bit underwhelming compared to the set up, and the side characters are somewhat flat, but the individual cases and the main couple are engaging. The relationship arc is a sweet but measured exploration into the charms and woes of a relationship with large gaps in power and age (40-ish vs early 20s). They are both capable but not overpowered, leaving the story with believable suspense throughout.

Eternities Still Unsaid Till You Love Me :: 欲言难止 by 麦香鸡呢

其实他知道不应该用‘等’来形容。许则像只风筝，没有人握着线，风筝在高空被吹得飘摇不定，但还是竭尽全力地留在原地，不是等谁来牵那根线，只是希望能再看某个人一眼。 Actually, he knows it shouldn't be called "waiting." Xu Ze is like a kite with no one holding the string. The kite wobbles as it flies high in the sky, but it still tries so hard to stay in place, not waiting for anyone to pick up that string, but just hoping to see that certain someone on more time.

[ABO, Alpha/Alpha, (temporarily) unrequited pining, amnesia] -- Scholarship kid Xu Ze has harbored a secret crush on Golden Boy and fellow Alpha Lu Heyang for years. They eventually begin a secret relationship in high school, but it ends after Lu Heyang gets amnesia, and they don't meet again until years later. The pining in this story is absolutely suffocating. Xu Ze has always prepared for his feelings to remain unrequited, and Lu Heyang is far from forthcoming and reassuring about his own feelings and commitment during their high school relationship. After adult Lu Heyang risks everything to recover his memory of their relationship, it's devastating to see Xu Ze break down in Lu Heyang's arms, finally coming to terms with how desparately he has wanted and waited for this reunion, and finally getting his Lu Heyang back. (I wrote more about this novel here)